“…the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” -Colossians 1:26-27
I sit, my back against the concrete, my face warmed by the afternoon glow of the sun. The afternoon is quite warm for a November in the Midwest, but the pleasant weather allows me an escape from the looming cloud of finals. As my Christmas music plays through my earbuds, I think back on the semester, and God’s goodness revealed in it.
God has done so much in my life this year, and it brings me to tears just thinking about all of it. He started by showing me my need for growth in areas I was not even looking. He has given me a deeper love for scripture, not just the knowledge of scripture, but how the Word of God can impact my heart and life. I have drawn so much closer to my Lord and Savior. I have seen the power of the gospel work in people’s lives, and watch people whom I never would have picked be drawn to the Lord. I have been overwhelmed by the love of my family, both my biological family and my church family.
As for outreach, God has softened my heart to the nations, and I have physically wept over people groups who, “are without hope of God in the world.” (Ephesians 2:12) The Holy Spirit has comforted me multiple times concerning the perfection of God’s timing in the salvation of lost friends. I have been able to disciple a younger believer in her faith. I have been able to council others in ways I could not have imagined, and have been able to show hospitality to the international students and freshmen at my university.
While I have been overwhelmed by the work of God this semester, I have also had my lows. I have had my sin struggles, and valleys in which I have felt tired or unworthy. Yet in it all, I have found that God’s love is greater. The deeper I dive into the love of God, the more I am astounded by it. I am such a sinful, unthankful, discontent woman, often acting more like the rebellious nation of Israel than a saint and daughter of the King. “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ, for by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:6)
I am still amazed by the love and grace of God. I do not understand it. How can a God so perfect and holy, whom I have betrayed and rejected and forgotten still want me? I had denied the perfect One whom I was created to know, whom my very existence was meant to glorify, and yet He did not let me go. He pursued me, like an insane, faithful man would pursue a promiscuous wife. Not only that, but once I came to know His love and repent from my old ways, He gave me a purpose and future. I do not understand this mystery, and yet I am in the middle of it. I am wrapped in a blanket of God’s love like an unborn child is surrounded by the whom of His mother, unable to fully see it or touch it, and yet it is what gives me life.